ROUGE WAVES

 

Ben Smalls lets out every word of prayer he remembered over a million times in just a matter of seconds. A mixed feeling of the joy of having to soon become a father and the fear of loosing the love of his life. Tracey’s pregnancy was only eight months old and they had just been in a ghastly car accident. The shock had thrown her into forced labour. Minutes after they arrived the hospital, she had become unconscious and the nurses had wheeled her to the emergency theatre ward.

“How’s my wife doing? Is she awake now? Can I see her now?” Ben demanded in an intense pressured tone.

“We were able to get her to regain consciousness… ”

” Thank you Lord!” Ben interrupted in relief

“..but.. I’m afraid we would have to go through a caesarean session to bring out the baby, she’s too weak to push right now” the doctor continued…

“Is the baby alright?”

“Can I at least see my wife first of all?” Ben’s demands continued.

“Come with me” the doctor said, leading him to his wife’s room.

Tracey’s pale face lay separately from the weak smile that greeted her face on seeing Ben. She was too weak to move.
“Baby” she called out to Ben in a faint tone, are you alright?
“yes baby!” I’m totally fine, I’m alright…
“You look beautiful” Ben continued…
“oh, stop it Ben, I know I look horrible” – No you don’t! You’re gonna be having our baby and I need you to be strong for me, strong for the baby, strong for us!

-They both smiled in agreement and Ben pecked her on the forehead before stepping out from the room to meet the doctor outside-

Doctor, please do the very best you can. I don’t want to loose her, she’s all I’ve got. “she’ll be fine” the doctor assured him. You should get some rest now. The operation begins in 30 minutes sir… “thank you doctor, I’m counting on you” Ben replied.

An hour later just outside the theatre room – I should have waited for that Godforsaken truck to cross – damnit! That bastard! – Ben was eating himself up in thoughts over the accident, pacing frantically-
The doctor had been able to separate the baby from the mother but now in a struggle to stabilize Tracey. The monitor had gone from a slow and steady beeping to a fast and steady beeping. Pressure was mounting up in the theatre and the doctor was trying every trick he has up his sleeves… Ben’s pace increased to the speed of light , voyaging the desert and the pacific regions in panicky thoughts. Tracey had gone unconscious for the second time, lying breathless on the hospital bed and all efforts by the doctors was becoming less effective then the monitor began a flat steady sound with flat straight lines reading on the monitor’s screen.
– Ben could hear from the outside, Tracy was gone! –
“I promised I’d never hurt her” – his thoughts continued in its marathon.

– Sighting the doctor walking towards him from the door –
“Doctor I killed her. I’m a terrible person. This was not what I promised her. I promised to care and never hurt her”
“I just did!”

– Niles dripped down his cheeks as he lamented –

Mr. Smalls, I understand how you feel..
“No you don’t” Ben rudely interrupts… “you don’t…if only I exercised a little patience…just a little patience; come on! What kind of monster am I?”
” A terrible one!”
– leaving the doctor, he ran into the theatre –
“Tracey I’m so sorry” he said as he dropped unto the floor beside her bed. “So..so..r..ry…” With his voice already breaking and betraying him from all the crying and whaling.

The doctor holds unto his broad shoulders, Mr. Smalls, you have to be strong for your baby, it’s not your fault for anything that happened. The roads are barely safe these days you know. I’m sorry for your loss but you need to think about your baby now. He needs a strong father in you. His race has just begun and he needs you in the picture.

– Ben sorbs as he lifts his heavy frame for the floor without loosing sight of his wife’s corpse –

Mr. Smalls you’d be fine, the doctor smiles in encouragement as they walk out of the theatre room… a beep, beep… sound interrupted the doctor’s words of consolation, the monitor just detected some response.

©Admiral Grant.

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